i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
