I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
