Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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