Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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