she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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