i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
