i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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