When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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