yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I will be naked everywhere
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
