We're facebook friends in real life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
