If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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