So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
