At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
