I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
