Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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