It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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