so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
handjob tips. give me some.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is my gift to your gina
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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