My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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