it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
