NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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