Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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