i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
