Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
