My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize