we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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