your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize