He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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