you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
