Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
