new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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