Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
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the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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