I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
