He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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