So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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