Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
