i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
