i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
