wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize