so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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