Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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