WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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