Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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