There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
worst night to have a conscience
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
