he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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