you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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