our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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