I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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