tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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