Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
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I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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