OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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