I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
