Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
