I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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