i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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