If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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