i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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