how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When are your genitals available?