Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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(318): dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune (1-318): what drug did you take to come to that conclusion?? http://tfl.nu/bym5

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(316): View more from Kansas

She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

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(316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9

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(631): View more from New York

He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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(631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i

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(856): View more from New Jersey

And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated

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(856): And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated http://tfl.nu/326a

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(604): View more from British Columbia

This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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(604): This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on http://tfl.nu/bpc0

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(419): View more from Ohio

i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.

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(419): i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go. http://tfl.nu/8sa8

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(910): View more from North Carolina

We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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(910): We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew. http://tfl.nu/c4a7

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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(413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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(218): I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans http://tfl.nu/y0vw

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(307): View more from Wyoming

He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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(307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z

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(785): View more from Kansas

I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.

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(785): I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked. http://tfl.nu/il94

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."

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(267): haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it." http://tfl.nu/wf20

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(530): View more from California

Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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(530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx

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(949): View more from California

Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...

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(949): Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40... http://tfl.nu/80uw

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(616): View more from Michigan

My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here

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(616): My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here http://tfl.nu/8jqj

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