i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh