im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
accomplished twins. life is a go
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize