Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (6859) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (68) Good night (18136) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito http://tfl.nu/zxd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1609) Bad night (1496)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur http://tfl.nu/33k4
  Replies (42) Good night (2015) Bad night (7883)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests. http://tfl.nu/wip0
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (2595)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm http://tfl.nu/d06d
  Replies (13) Good night (2152) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?! http://tfl.nu/tyzg
  Replies (19) Good night (2178) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore. (519): Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor. http://tfl.nu/xdad
  Replies (8) Good night (1193) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him. http://tfl.nu/5ca1
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!' http://tfl.nu/6btj
  Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night http://tfl.nu/13rl
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected http://tfl.nu/wv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/6s40
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (165)

Randomize