plz talk dirty to me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro