Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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