Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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